Less Words in Men’s World
In all societies despite sex, race, gender, or religious tradition it’s common thing to hear that men and women are creatures of very different kinds. Women often struggle to interpret men’s behavior, and in their turn, men fail to understand what’s going on in ladies’ heads. Finally, both agree: men and women are from different planets. According to Roger Rosenblatt (1998), a thing that differs men from women is the way they build social relations (man with other men, woman with other women). In essay “The Silent Friendship of Men” Rosenblatt states that men don’t make too much talking, and I tend to agree. Men by nature are less verbal than women.
Firstly, it’s noticeable when watching men speaking about things, describing events. Men mostly value actions, notions while women love the details and are common to go in deep descriptions. Thus, from the first sight it seems men are less capable of feelings, but Rosenblatt (1998) argues that it’s not true. Simply for men those experienced feelings “remain submerged, and the airing of them violates their authenticity” (Rosenblatt, 1998). On the contrary, it seems for women everything only gets clearer when it’s verbalized.
Therefore, men and women spent time with same sex friends differently. Rosenblatt (1998) brings example of two men, romantic poets Wordsworth and Coleridge, who once spend a three hours long evening together without saying a word, both enjoying silence very much. Of course men aren’t absolutely silent, but even nowadays when comparing men’s meetings with women’s ones, men rather meet to do some business (to watch basketball, or for fishing, or playing chess etc.) while women go shopping which naturally implies discussion of cloth, or women may specifically meet at cafes for chatting.
Additionally, women need verbal communication more regularly than men. They are women who’re complaining why a friend, or a relative hasn’t called for a long of time, and no chance that man will complain about rare communication. Rosenblatt (1998) brings own example, “There are a dozen guys whom I count as friends and who do the same with me, yet months pass without our speaking”. Women can’t stand a long silence in relations, and if there’s not enough talking women may thing something is wrong, or friend’s hiding a secret.
Rosenblatt (1998) refers men’s natural silence to the fact that somehow men are more comfortable with being alone in comparison to women. Either it’s a natural state of affairs, or men were somehow programed on this, now silence is the way men are comfortable to be (Rosenblatt, 1998). It explains why men are okay with lack of talking while women seek for a verbal communication when friends are far away. And even if a friend lives in the neighborhood, they are women who can hang on the phone talking for hours, sublimating real meetings.
Whatever the true reason is, it seems men and women are again on opposite sides of barricades when it comes to talking. If really men and women were living on different planets, there’d be a planet of unbearable silence and a planet of unbearable noise. Women prefer verbalizing and highly detailed descriptions, often even gathering together specifically for a good long chat while men are more comfortable when silent. They chose more silent ways of spending time with same sex friends and generally, are okay with being alone. In their turn, women suffer when lacking of verbal communication and go for it more often.
Reference
Rosenblatt, Roger. (1998, Dec. 07). The Silent Friendship of Men. Time. Retrieved from
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